i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
