I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
