Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
