I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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