I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
