the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
