is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
