Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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