i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
oh god the rape fog is back!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
