The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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