She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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