we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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