why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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