the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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