My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
