I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Randomize
