So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
