When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
BRING THE BAGELS
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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