i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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