i think i have two assholes
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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