the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
