can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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