What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
