i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
