Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
