ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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