I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
