summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
