You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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