At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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