Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
