I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
