I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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