Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize