Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
