Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
