you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
