if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
