you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
