bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
