operation have a gay friend backfired
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
