He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
