so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
