I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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