The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
