It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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