She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
