Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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