Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
