When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
