she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize