im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
