I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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