covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize