I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
