Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
