kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
