he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
