Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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