i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
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